As a South American who grew up loving soccer and went on to live 10 years in Kansas City, you’d think I would welcome the news of a Ted Lasso show with open arms. You would be wrong.
You see, I loved the original Ted Lasso commercials. This character was initially in an ad as the clueless American football coach hired by Tottenham Hotspurs (one of the big six in English football) to be their manager. The video was made to promote NBC’s Premier League coverage, and it worked so well that a year later they made a second one.
Those little smartwatches are a marvel of technological achievement, but every once in a while they get things awfully wrong. That’s what I’ve been telling my wife all along and she still doesn’t believe me!
A minor mistake in reading your old and tired heart and it starts vibrating like crazy. Here are a few times my dumbwatch has vibrated on me out of nowhere now that I’m getting up there in age.
Walking up the stairs
Imagine that! You know when you get to an age when your knees ache and a flight of stairs takes your breath away…
This is the story of an immigrant (me!) who did everything right, checked all the legal requirements, and for whom obviously everything went super smoothly! And if I could do it, then of course, everybody can!!!
This is honestly just a rant. But I’m fucking spent.
Upon arrival in the U.S. ten years ago to a public college, I thought I might one day make the American Dream a reality. I was smart (full ride academic scholarship), I was outgoing (took me no time to fit in), and I was hardworking (my first internship was unpaid, but I still managed…
Every time I go on Twitter I see a new trending topic disguised as a wave of moral outrage. And believe me, I am aware that there are many wrongs in the world.
Racial disparities continue to claim lives (not to mention perpetuate a de facto cast system via limited economic opportunities). Gender violence has gone up in a year and change when people had to stay home, at times with their abuser. Easy access to guns and limited access to mental health counseling leaves the door wide open for mass murder, and we act surprised when it happens again…
There are several legal and moral reasons why the 45th President of the United States should be impeached. All Democrats and Independents are fully aware of them, and I’m sure those reasons will be discussed during the trial. I am here not to discuss those, but rather to discuss the three practical reasons why every Republican Senator should vote to impeach the former president.
At the foot of the mountains, at home I stay, by the brinny shores of the Great Salt Lake
Wearing masks to stay safe, trynna avoid the plague, it blows how bad Covid blows
Soon may the Dasher come
To bring Chipotle, some chips and guac
One day vaccines may come, we’ll take our shots and go
Still stuck in my house, it’s been over ten months, I’ve binged all of Netflix even HBO Max
Have you ever noticed how much winter sucks, it blows how bad Covid blows
Soon may the Dasher come
Bring me chicken and waffles, mimosas…
Please submit by the last day of the month at 11:59 p.m.
Salt Flats is the Medium publication of the Salt City Genre Writers. The SCGW is a chapter of the Utah League of Writers, and submission to this publication is open only to active members. Click on those links to join or renew your membership.
How to submit a piece to Salt Flats:
Salt Flats accepts essays, poems, or flash fiction stories of 1,000 words or fewer related to the theme chosen the editor. Ask in the Discord channel #mediumpublication about this month’s theme. You must submit your piece…
Hey! Did you you miss Part 1? That’s ok, I just said it was inspired by an old Simpsons’ episode. So here we go again, below just a few examples of what not to do. Read it to your kid when they’re being extra shitty, it’s bound to make you both feel better about yourselves.
I would like you to do us a favor though because our country has been through a lot and Ukraine knows a lot about it. Donny, July 2019
Did you all hear what the FDA said? THE PANDEMIC IS OVER!!! A vaccine has been approved and there is LITERALLY nothing else we need to do to move on from what’s made this year a poopy hellhole of a dumpster fire. And I don’t know about you, but after 9 months of sweatpants and hairy legs, I’m ready to turn my life around with these seven fun resolutions for 2021!
From SCZ, Bolivia. Now in SLC, Utah. Here to read, write, and complain (in that order). I write fiction, humor, and some essays.