Democratic Debate Drinking Game

The first night was tasty, sure, but this is the main course.

Image from USA Today. Here under Fair Use

So you’re watching the first real Democratic Primary Debate. This includes heavyweights like Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg and Kamala Harris (a few others too I guess.) Because it’s 2019, you’re probably used to getting shitfaced every time you watch the news. Here’s what you’ll need:

  • An easy drink of your choice (light beer, hard lemonade, etc.)
  • Your hard liquor of choice (for shots, tequila is recommended)
  • A few miniature Jagermeisters
  • One pint of Fireball.

Sounds like a lot? I call that a Tuesday. Below are the rules, but before, take a shot if there are technical difficulties at the start. This will be a long night.

Drink if:

  • Andrew Yang advocates in favor of ‘Good Capitalism’.
  • Joe Biden points and smiles or winks.
  • Bernie Sanders rants against the top 1 percent (drink twice if he singles out Amazon or Wal-mart.)
  • Kristen Gillibrand reminds you she’s a woman.
  • Kamala Harris reminds you she’s a woman of color.
  • Joe Biden reminds you he’s friends with Barack Obama.
  • Mayor Pete looks awkward answering a question he’s not ready for.
  • Someone makes a thinly veiled comment about Donald Trump.
  • Trump makes a thinly veiled comment about the Debate on Twitter.

Take a shot if:

  • Andrew Yang brings up Universal Basic Income.
  • Bernie Sanders gets old-man-sassy.
  • Joe Biden mentions appealing to ‘working class’ (read: white) voters.
  • “Russia is undermining our democracy” (Two if they mention Facebook.)
  • Someone speaks real shitty Spanish (malpario ijoeputa.)
  • Mayor Pete mentions he’s a “millennial”.
  • Joe Biden gets visibly frustrated when someone brings up ‘his past’.
  • Marianne Williamson mentions she’s an outsider (everyone else wonders who the fuck was that?)
  • Someone makes a direct comment about Donald Trump.
  • Trump makes a direct comment about the Debate on Twitter.

Chug a Jager if:

  • Andrew Yang mentions abolishing the penny.
  • Someone actually answers a question.
  • Joe Biden says ‘malarky’.
  • Someone says they would impeach Trump.
  • Bernie calls out Marianne Williamson for not making any sense (everyone else still wonders why she’s there.)

Chug the entire pint of Fireball if any of these things happen:

  • Andrew Yang brings up banning circumcision.
  • Rachel Maddow makes out with Kamala Harris.
  • John Hickenlooper speaks.

Remember to drink responsibly. Or not, the world’s on fire anyway. Cheers. #YangGang #Yang2020 #IntactivistsUnite

From SCZ, Bolivia. Now in SLC, Utah. Here to read, write, and complain (in that order). I write fiction, humor, and some essays.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store