Minutes from Your Local Anarchist Party Meeting

As dictated by Robert’s Rules of Order

Using this, very much with permission, from Pixabay

On December 20 of 2019, the Ogden chapter of the Bolshevik American Nihilistic Anarchists National Association (BANANA) held its regular meeting.

The meeting was attended by voting members: Jackie Rotten, Jenny Bigbutt, NotSkyler, Sidharta Vicious, Ramone Gonzalez, Skid Crow, Flea and Joe Smith, who presided the meeting. There were 24 non-voting members present as well. (Who were again told not to interrupt while voting members speak, and wait for the Airing of Grievances instead.)

Skid Crow reported progress from the annual Festivus celebration committee. She also asked members not to hang their coats in the pole, and reminded them that no decoration was allowed in it. Even to distinguish it from the coat rack, which really doesn’t look that much like the pole, does it?

Jenny distributed bandanas and shirts back to all members who needed laundry services. She reminded members that if any apparel is pepper-sprayed during official business, laundry services are covered by annual fees. She asked members to please refrain from bringing any other used clothes to the official laundry room.

Flea reported that restorations in the headquarters' bathrooms have been completed. He asked members to stop practicing graffiti art in those walls and try to use the designated graffiti wall facing the southeast alleyway.

Joe didn’t have anything to report and motioned to approve the agenda. In spite of non-voting members' displeasure, Ramone seconded the motion, which passed unanimously.

A motion to use Festivus’ Feats of Strength to decide the next president of the local chapter was presented by NotSkyler. It was seconded by Sidharta. The motion narrowly passed 6 to 4.

Flea presented a motion to have himself temporarily replace Joe Smith as the presiding officer, as Joe dragged NotSkyler by the collar to the southeast alleyway. The motion was seconded by Jenny and passed 3 to 0. The rest of the voting (and non-voting) members had left to witness the fight.

A motion to use member fees to travel to Iowa and protest the Democratic Caucus was presented by Flea. The motion was not seconded. Jarret reminded Flea that it is against BANANA’s rules to vote on financial matters without a minimum quorum of 51% voting members.

Jenny presented a motion to terminate the meeting early, once Flea had dragged Jarret to the northwest alleyway. With no other member present, the motion did not need a second and passed unanimously.

A reminder to keep all physical altercations to the designated area in the southeast alleyway. We have received several complaints from our neighbors in the past two months, and the board would like us to keep this headquarters a bit longer than the last one.

Happy Festivus everyone.

Signed: Jenny Bigbutt.

From SCZ, Bolivia. Now in SLC, Utah. Here to read, write, and complain (in that order). I write fiction, humor, and some essays.

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